He is the father

A man had sex with a woman and after 3 months she came with a baby and told him that he was the father. The man told her that was impossible, but the woman told him let's think about that
The woman: When did you sleep with me?
The man: 3 months age
The woman: When did I sleep with you?
The man: 3 months age
The woman: When did we sleep with each other?
The man: 3 months age
The woman: So 3 months + 3 months + 3 months = 9 months, so he is your son.

Someone will be beaten tonight

A little drunk mouse was sitting in a bar and saying 'someone will be beaten tonight'
The giraffe was angry, it went to the lion and said 'are you going to set here and let that little mouse make us like fools?'
The line caught the mouse, beat it and through it out of the bar
The mouse entered the bar again and said 'I told you someone will be beaten today'

He gave the paper to the teacher

A very lazy student entered an exam and while he was answering the pen fall on the floor. He gave the paper to the teacher and left.

How to be silly???

A silly friend is teaching his friend how to be silly
 
The silly friend: What would you do if you saw an ant?
 
His friend: I would kill it.
 
The silly friend: No, you let it until it reaches its home, carry it and put it away from its home.

How to hunt the blue elephant?

How to hunt the blue elephant?
By the blue gun
 



How to hunt the Red Elephant?
Strangle it until its color turns blue then hunt it by the blue gun
 



How to hunt the Black Elephant?
Wash it by whitening (bleaching) product so it turn white, embarrass it so it turn red, strangle it until it turns blue then hunt it by the blue gun.